How I Cleared My Depression with 12 steps – step 2

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I used the 12 steps from Alcoholics Anonymous to overcome depression.

Step 2

I came to believe that a power greater than me could restore me to sanity.

This was a big shift for me. All my life I feel like I have been surrounded by atheists: my family, my friends. They know it all. They don’t need God. But I did. After years of vague belief I finally submitted. I became a Christian on the Alpha Course. This helped me a lot. Therapists often say you have to fix yourself; that it has to come from within. That’s good advice for many people but I had been trying to fix myself for years. There was something about surrendering myself to a loving God that worked for me.

I have suffered in the past from depression, low self-esteem and a sense of worthlessness. This just leads to nihilism: there seems no point in doing anything in a meaningless universe. Christianity gave me a way out of this trap.When the Bible is explained to you as an unfolding story it all starts to make sense. There is order in the universe, there is purpose and intention. Most of all there is love. Love is the thing I have been lacking. God loves me just as I am with all my flaws and faults. I don’t have to be perfect. I am good enough just the way I am. This is a revelation to me. We are all sinners. God knows this but he forgives us and accepts us through the blood of Jesus.

Being a Christian gives me meaning and purpose. I am still early on in my journey and I haven’t figured everything out yet but I read the Bible every day and pray and I attend the local abbey and sometimes my village church which has intermittent services. When somebody at Alpha prayed over me I felt like some evil thing left my body and something else came in its place. My depression began to lift there and then. I didn’t get rid of it overnight but it was the start of my journey to recovery. A lot of people have trouble with the word God. If you prefer you can use Higher Power or Nature or whatever you like. For me God works best though. I feel better when I think of something external to me helping me: a great spirit. I can’t make it on my own but I can make it with God. And so can you. Surrender to Him and you can heal yourself of all kinds of issues. Just one step at a time each day.

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