Yogi Cameron Diet Day 5

Weight: 64 kg. A small loss

Breakfast: boiled eggs

Lunch: salad with brazil nuts and balsamic vinegar

Snack: three rice cakes with peanut butter and honey.

Dinner: Baked potato with beans and salad and cupcake

No caffeine

One glass of red wine

Exercise: yoga and dog walking 2 hours

Meditation: 15 mins

Feeling quite spacey throught the day due to caffeine withdrawal.

Social interaction: lots at the Christian study group I went to. This is why I had such a large dinner as it was provided and would have been rude to say no. So diet pretty screwed today. Felt tired but good at the end of the day. Still got caffeine withdrawal headache.

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Yogi Cameron Diet Day 4

Weight: 64.5 kg. No weight loss. This is becoming a pattern.

So today I decided to give up caffeine completely. I felt tired and had a mild headache and light sweating.

Breakfast: fruit smoothie made with berries, almond milk, peanut butter, chia seeds, flax seeds and a banana.

Camomile tea

Honey and lemon water

Exercise: Dog walking. one hour.

Meditation: 15 minutes. The breath

Mindfulness: I can statements. Love and compassion

Lunch: Mashed potato. Steamed spinach. Camomile tea. Two glasses of wine.

Dinner: quinoa rice cakes. Marmite. Peanut butter

I was pleased I kept to unprocessed foods and I avoided caffeine. I should not have had the wine at lunch. My mood was very low: contemplating the state of the world and the wreckage of my life. I was very productive in the morning on my Psychology course.  The fatigue was tricky.

Onwards.

 

Yogi Cameron The One Plan Day 3

Weight: 64.5 kg. No weight loss

Breakfast: scrambled eggs, green tea

Lunch: ratatouille, rice, green tea, red wine

Dinner: dates

Snack: corn bread. Extra virgin olive oil

Meditation: 15 minutes.

Mindfulness: I can statements. Love and compassion to all beings.

Exercise: dog walking 30 mins

Social interaction: talking with husband until he left at 3 for a conference

I had a day of rest today as it is Sunday. I didn’t feel very good. Felt very tired. Mood medium. I was annoyed at myself for eating corn bread. I am not supposed to be eating any bread at all. The only thing I am proud of is avoiding coffee. I am still eating too much though I have reduced my portions. I will concentrate on avoiding caffeine as I can’t give up too many things at once. I spent the morning lounging and watching political programmes on TV. Then I watched a film. I feel myself slipping into old habits so I must try harder. I am more aware of my thoughts and trying to catch them before they turn negative. I felt myself sliding into hopelessness again that I do not have a proper purpose. Try not to have wine tomorrow. Keep trying. I was pleased I didn’t have processed food. I didn’t eat late. I think eggs are not really allowed on the ayurvedic diet but  think they are healthy.

Yogi Cameron The One Plan Day 2

Weight: 64.5 kg. I have lost no weight. Aaargh. Hey it’s only one day.

Dog walking: 30 mins

Meditation: 15 mins. Concentrating on the breath and observing thoughts.

Mindfulness: I can statements. I can write.

Yoga: 30 mins

Jogging: 20 mins

Breakfast: strawberries, banana, green tea

Lunch: aloo gobi curry, nectarine, green tea

Dinner: ratatouille and beans. Baked potato. Red wine.

Snack: almond milk hot chocolate.

Mood: up and down but ok

Social interaction: some at village dog show, husband in the evening

Pretty pleased at the amount of exercise I achieved today. Felt good in the morning. Energy dipped in the afternoon as did mood. Got some writing on the novel achieved though not very much.

The big news was giving up coffee. I had green tea instead. Big achievement. I did not get a headache. Felt naughty about the red wine but it is Saturday night.

I reread some of the One Plan. I love the idea he talks about as emerging as a masterpiece. Yes I would like that.

Feel I kept to eating healthy foods. I am still probably eating too much but I had no processed food. It is time consuming to cook everything from scratch but I really enjoy it. In a better world I would have a house full of children to cook for. I always make too much of everything. Sigh.

I had some negative thoughts impinging but I managed to come back to the present moment. The rainy weather does not help. I enjoyed watching my garden birds on the bird feeder.

A good day. Onwards.

 

Yogi Cameron The One Plan Reboot Day 1

I have started the One Plan before but I gave up after a few weeks. I can’t now remember why. I am going to give it another go. The One Plan is a book by Yogi Cameron who is a holistic therapist. It promises to change your life in a year with a week by week plan. I have been feeling so ill, tired and hopeless recently that I really need something. I have decided to persevere this time and not give up like I usually do.

The One Plan applies the principles of yoga and ayurveda to the realm of the body, mind and spirit.

Week One is about remembering not to eat late at night and to practise non-violence on yourself and others. This means verbal as well as physical.

I am going to blog about my progress through the days. I hope it is helpful to people. I am going to keep broadly to the plan but also mix in other ideas from Buddhism and health sites. I will be broadly vegan with a few animal products from time to time. I allergic to milk and gluten intolerant.

Day 1

Wake 8 am

Weight: 64.5 kg. Heaviest I have been for a long time.

Exercise: dog walking

Meditation: 15 minutes Concentrating on the breath. Observing my thoughts.

Yoga: 30 minutes.

Mindfulness: mantra of I can statements. I can write. I can write my novel. Visualise myself as a famous novelist.

Breakfast: smoothie consisting of almond milk, peanut butter, strawberries, banana, flax seeds, chia seeds, cocoa powder, avocado, cod liver oil. All whizzed up in the blender. Coffee.

Hypnosis tape.

Lunch: 1 pm salad. Yogi Cameron does not approve of salads but it is what I have in my organic veg box so it’s what I’m eating. Lettuce, cucumber, brazil nuts, tomato, avocado, French dressing with garlic and mustard. Green tea.

Dinner: 4 pm three quinoa rice cakes with marmite and peanut butter

One glass of red wine.

Social interaction: virtually none. Greeting neighbours while dog walking. Husband is at the gym until late. Not in yet.

I am pleased with myself today. I am easing in. I had a sense of well being. I had a slight headache in the afternoon. I am still drinking coffee which I will have to stop but I only had one. I didn’t eat any processed food and I didn’t eat late. I did lots of reading and I wrote this blog. I looked at some social media which I am trying to cut down. I have realised a lot of my problems stem from negative self thoughts. I need to do more tomorrow. I kept grabbing at the thoughts to make them go away. I have just recovered from a cold so feel slightly woozy though the nostrils are a lot less blocked than usual. I also have negative self thoughts against other people. This is something I need to work very hard on to eradicate. I need to meditate on forgiveness. I had one glass of wine which will need to come down.

A good day.

 

Book Review: Michael Palin The Himalaya

​I really enjoyed this book. It accompanies the TV series from a few years ago. Palin writes about his journey through the countries that surround the Himalayas. There are sumptuous photographs. The writing is accessible, easy going and often funny. Palin is a charming, self deprecating narrator. There are lots of eccentric characters and stunning landscapes as well as some very basic hotels and toilets. I have long been fascinated by Tibet but the description of the dirt, the constant wind and the risk of altitude sickness has made me revise my romanticised opinion. I would still love to go though. Recommended.

The Summer is Over – Notes from The Old Chapel

“The summer is over and we are not yet saved.” Jeanette Winterson

Autumn has arrived in rural Norfolk. As I write the constant rain is hammering on the conservatory roof. The summer has been wetter than usual – a gloom settling over England more deep than usual. I think it’s God’s punishment for Brexit. I can count the sunny days on the fingers of one hand. Thankfully we went on holiday to Italy and saw some real sunshine. If God is an Englishman, as the Victorians used to say, then he sure has a dry sense of humour.

Autumn is giving its bounty though. The hedgerows are full of blackberries and the garden is brimming with small, sour apples. There is a dead mouse under the sun lounger I am trying not to think about. The weeds are rampant. I have pulled some at the front but the borders remain neglected due to the rain. The swanky new bird feeder is attracted tits of all kinds and a nervous robin. He alights on the meal worms, pecks nervously and skitters away at the first sound.  The skies are grey and blank.

There is a slight chill creeping in to the early mornings and evenings but the main day is still warm. I am putting off putting on the exceedingly expensive oil heating. I have a vague dread of the cold of the winter. I keep dreaming of warm climates with lush vegetation. Norfolk has its charms though. The skies are big and the garden is wonderful. In its shelter one feels safe and hidden. The front of the house is marred by the main road. My dog takes it into his head he has to bark at every large vehicle passing. I have tried to train him out of it with limited success.

The rain will make me productive. I can’t work in the garden so I can write.

And write and write…

Taking Control of My Mental Health

I have had delicate mental health for a while. I have taken lots of self help steps to try to make myself better with some success but somehow I always relapse.

This year I have suffered with sinusitis and chronic tiredness which has made me depressed.  I don’t know what comes first, the illness or the depression or that they both feed on each other in some horrific symbiotic relationship. At points all I could do was lie on the sofa and drink wine. I was spiralling downwards.

I decided I was sick of all this and took charge of myself. First the sinusitis had to go. The doctor had given me a steroid nasal spray which did nothing. She said it would take twelve months to work. So basically it didn’t work.  I read up online and came across someone saying dairy caused their sinusitis. This felt right to me. I gave up dairy, bread and eggs two weeks ago. The results were quite something. My sinusitis got better almost immediately. Two weeks later I would say it is almost gone completely though not quite. The eczema on my finger has also cleared up. I think I have been allergic to milk and not realised it. I also felt that my digestion was better and I didn’t feel bloated. I had more energy.

I started hypnotherapy. I have had two sesssions and have received an audio file that I am to play at night. I did not feel instantly better as some people report but I am perservering. It is like a guided meditation focusing on positive thoughts. I have been eating healthily, avoiding alcohol and doing yoga, meditation, jogging and walking. I do feel somewhat better. The hypnotherapy is deadly expensive so I am holding off for a while for the next session.

I scoured the local mental health services and self referred for a well being course. I have four sessions of CBT therapy for depression. It doesn’t start until October. It’s in a group so I am not sure   if it will be effective but I am giving it a try.

I have also decided to take control of my life in other ways. I have signed up for an MSc in Psychology at the Open University and I have signed up  to learn hypnotherapy. So that’s two part time courses. I am paying for them with a student loan from the government. I still neeed some kind of job to pay my way. This is proving tricky. I need to get on it though. I am winding down my business as it makes virtually no money.

I am not cured yet by any means but I feel that I am more in control of events. I have got better before and then slid back down. I must not let that happen again. I know a lot of it is negative thoughts. It’s like there’s a tape in my head that puts me down. My awareness of it is the first step to getting rid of it. I am hoping the outside agencies will help me.

I am toying with asking for antidepressants though I have always resisted this. I am still not sure. I also think about having private therapy though the cost is horrendous.

I have realised that I will never be able to go back to what passes for a normal life. I can’t just have a quiet drink without it turning into an enormous session. I can’t just eat what I like because certain foods just don’t agree with me and I get fat and sluggish. Every day I will have to take time for self care. I am treating myself as a project like an elderly, delicate maiden aunt who needs lots doing for her. I am being gentle with myself. I am turning off the critical voice. Every day it will be an effort but I am going to do it. I have made the first steps.

And I will finish my novel.

Namaste.